Dear Danil,

I hope you're at peace where ever you may be.

Gosh, all the times we spent seem like yesterday.

So here it goes;

Two years ago, on 24th October 2006, was Danil's 17th birthday.

It went on conjuction with Hari Raya Puasa. On Tuesday.

I already bought him his birthday gift.

Eeyore marshmallow pillow,
since he wanted the same birthday gift i got for Adam,
my bf then.

I can still remember that particular Monday.

Danil, being the jackass,
came to school feeling so high cause he went clubbing the previous day.

He showed me how he danced, and gave me quite a number of lapdances.

We also managed to plan some exciting events as we were gonna have our December holiday.

Trips to escape themepark, movies and clubs, did not come as planned.

(I'm tearing up, yet again.)

Okay i've repeated this whole story for idk how many times!

So let me just cut it short,

Danil Shagimardanov left us on his 16th Birthday.
He didn't wake up from his sleep in the morning

when his family went into his room to wake him up

with a birthday song! (Just so you know, his parents are musicians. Like him.)

He was facing the other side when his family came in.

They sang it once, no response.
They thought he'd wake up if they'd sing it louder for the second time.
And there goes the second time, much much louder.

But to no avail.

They turned him around.

Sadly, he was already blue. (fuck, this tears wont stop falling)

Despite the fact that he was already gone,

his dad still tried to ignite him back to life.

CPR, shook him, whatever, you name it.

and his mom won't stop screaming.

Skip

On Wednesday, i came to school late.

And yes, we were all still oblivious to his death.

Excited as any other day to see the two jackasses- Adam&Danil.

And I was excited too cause we already planned to go out after school.

(Danil wanted to get me JollyShandy as his treat. HAHAHA. Shut up)

Then it was weird, I saw Adam walking around in school
without Danil.

I could already sense something was amissed,

Danil not in school the day after his birthday? Impossible.

Skip

I was about to put on my make-up cause the concert was about to start,
and i was the MC.

Adam came to me with Mona, I could somehow smell the stinking truth

from the look on their faces, Mona's tearing eyes.

"Babe, Danil died yesterday morning. Mdm L just called his house to confirm

if the rumour was true."

"You kidding right? You..."

My limbs felt weak, my whole weight came crashing down to the floor.

It started with a nugget ball of pain, then i realised i was choking on the ball of agony.

Most of the teachers came to look for me as soon as they received the news.

Like my chemistry teacher then, Mrs Lim. ( IMISSYOUSOMUCH!)

They thought i was with Danil, as in, his girlfriend, girlfriend. Yes that girlfriend.

I can never forget the day, deeply etched inside me.

The chair, pulled next to my table was still there.

His 7-up bottles under his table.

The unfinished fish/chicken burgers under his table.

Skip

Went to chua chu kang crematorium for the last service.
I couldn't help but to hear myself screaming for him to wake up to tell me

that all it was was a big fat ugly prank he had on me.

Skip

Till today, i know these people have yet to get over the whole death issue.

Adam

Creedence

Hassan

Liza

and myself.

Dramatic?

After a year, going to 2 years now, I've not dealt fully with his death.

The whole impact was grotesque.

I'm missing you till bits, crazy.

We'll always be missing you;

Erwani, Mona, Aidil and the rest i mentioned above and who genuinely treats you as a friend

right from the start and not since you've been gone.

Danil Shagimardanov

24th October 1990 - 24th October 2006

I'll keep you lock in my head, until we meet again.

Oh this is the day when Adam wore my half-jacket in TOWN. hahaha

Dude, you have no idea how much i missed you!

I miss you calling my name,
I miss your vulgarities song,
I miss listening to you singing songs from The System Of A Down,
I miss you watching you disturbing Munisha,
I miss those piggy-back rides.



Gosh, i miss you terribly.



Sometimes, Adam & I ponder on what you would be doing now.


The impact of you leaving us was grotesque.

School became morbid as ever when you left,
no one running around doing crazy stuff like -
dressing up as a Dracula using the piano cover as a cloak.

No one to head-butt me,
No one to give me a lapdance.
No one to dance with me in class.



Now, I have to face the teachers alone for not handing up work.
Sigh.

Munnie called this JANJI MELAYU kan kan kan?

After the great dinner we had at LJS(not the food, but the time spent laughing)

After such a looooooooooooooooong time,
i finally get to see this Apek here.

I won't forget the days we had FLUFFY& get all messy!

When I still had that streak of blonde on the first day of this term.

"Do you know that I can touch my chin with my tongue?" HAHA

My 17th birthday kiss at Sakae. HAGA *winks. i know you know

Bitches with CLASS, mind you.

The day when it all started. She got angry and ignored me.

But we're good now, or even better. We hafta thank YOU!

My Recess Laughing Partner

We're having more fun without you

Of course, we know you're having a real good time too.

You're back with your old best friend

whom you used to call her a, Flirt.

She is still now, isn't she? So are you gonna be one too?

HAHAHA.

Whatever, here's just three words for You;

Fcuk Off, Bitch.

You can mess with her,

but definitely not with me.

Can you see the line? Yeah, you're on the other side.